Come again?

"The quote book is very important."

Oops, I'm 84!

May 10, 2019

If I ever get knocked up, I expect the candy-bar-poop game.

May 3, 2019

Once you get past throwing up, it's awesome!

May 3, 2019

He's all hopped up on treats and fans.

April 26, 2019

I don't want to count to 20.

April 9, 2019

I have never seen a human being crease like that before.

April 9, 2019

Nick is negative noise.

December 14, 2018

You miss 100% of the notifications you don’t receive.

December 11, 2018

I'd be very happy to live in a zoo cage.

December 5, 2018

I always knew he was destined for the garage sale.

December 5, 2018

I had no idea I have so many opinions about Tyra Banks.

December 4, 2018

Nitpickiness is next to godliness when it comes to editing.

November 26, 2018

That's where the wall teeth were found.

November 9, 2018

You can go hours without running into anybody. Well, that was too many people for me.

November 9, 2018

I was afraid of the people.

November 9, 2018

You can't say you're gonna be someone's friend and then start slicing them.

November 9, 2018

I am a weak, hairless mammal, and I am about to get rocked!

November 9, 2018

Imagine if I had claws.

November 8, 2018

Our clumping was not the same as their clumping.

November 7, 2018

I am slandered!

October 31, 2018

Purpose frightens me.

October 31, 2018

I make blankets all the time, you son of a bitch.

October 30, 2018

I think you're going to die soon.

September 4, 2018

I am well-attuned to soup danger.

August 28, 2018